Josh Plovanic's Writings and Thoughts

    "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for his sheep."       =John 10:11        I recently had my memory refreshed of a clip from the movie "American Sniper" where the father of Chris Kyle is giving a lecture to his two young sons after a schoolyard brawl on the arrangement of the human social condition. He split humanity into three categories; Sheep, Sheepdogs, and Wolves.      Sheep are pretty self-explanatory. They are the people who ebb and flow with the seasons and waves of society. They are completely dependent on the system and rely on stronger and better equipped people for their protection and survival. Out of an ignorance, an ineptitude, or just a general contentment they don't equip themselves to defend themselves and are easily incentivized by fear.  They are the weak and meek, both those who willingly pacify and disarm themselves and those who by handicap and disability are left...

"And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil, and stood at His feet behind Him weeping; and she began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed His feet and anointed them with the fragrant oil. "        -Luke 7:37-38 So January 2020, in the middle of the month, I was in the midst of a state of mind that left me reckoning with some of my past and even some of the stuff that had happened in the weeks prior. I had said a lot of interesting things and had some interesting conversations.      It was pre-Covid time, so school was relatively normal and not everything was as weird as it is now. There was still a weirdness to it, but that's because my life always has a weirdness to it. One Saturday, after a long day of bouncing around Bozeman with my mind hashing out reality and philosophy and everyt...

   "The whole secret lies in confusing the enemy, so that he cannot fathom our real intent."      Sun Tzu-The Art of War Over the years, confusion has been a routine topic of interest to me for many reasons, whether they be confusion as symptoms of brain illnesses or injury or the confusion of languages in the biblical story of the tower of babel or...pertaining to the quote above...confusion as a weapon and tactic of war.       Confusing an opponent or enemy is not a new phenomenon and has been used throughout the history of games and warfare. When you have successfully confused an enemy while you retain a high level of clarity and functionality, you have a distinct and pronounced advantage over them. Coupled with distraction, confusion is one of the most effective psychological strategies you can use against an antagonist or opponent. It weakens their defensive capabilities and leaves them vulnerable to attack. You can terrorize, neutralize, or ...

There are some things that are inescapable once you are born into the world. Things that no matter how hard you try to evade, they will still impact you in your life.   For one, you are going to make mistakes. This is an inescapable fact of being human. The important thing is you learn from them. The world and many people in your life may not forgive you for many of your mistakes, but human beings are not notable for being the most forgiving of creatures. Forgiveness is a divine trait, not a human one, and the most important person to forgive is yourself. If other people can't move past, that's on them. You are going to royally piss someone off at some point in your life, or many people. Some people will be pissed just because you still exist. Again, this is on them. If you are upsetting people for being who you are when you've done no harm to them, that's their insecurities, their flaws, that they are not strong enough or brave enough to overcome.  Don't be ashamed...

   I've always wanted to be strong. I looked up to strong people and always wanted to have a level of strength and toughness that I felt I lacked in my life. To me, there is a difference between toughness and resilience. I look at toughness as the amount of stress and trial one can take before they break or capitulate.       I look at resilience as the amount of times someone can recover and the quickness of the recovery after capitulating or breaking.   By this definition I am much more resilient than I am tough. I'm kind of a comeback kid. It's easy to kick me down, but keeping me down can prove to be a continuous and unceasing process. I am going to get back up again and again and again until something finally finishes me off.  That hasn't happened yet.  Something in me has always prevented me from throwing in the towel for good in life, and I keep fighting and keep getting back up even though I have no idea why I keep entering in the matc...

Your shoulders make me feel safe. Resting my head there takes my worry away. Your kindness warms my spirit. You have such a gentle approach with me. Your strength gives me courage You've always been strong. Your patience gives me room to grow.  You gave me so many second chances Your mercy spared my life when I dug myself into dangerous situations. You sent angels to stop the monsters from tearing me to pieces. Your hope gives me the drive to push through a life I don't want to live. You give me a lot of hope. Your wisdom and knowledge gave me immense curiosity.  You've graced me with some of that knowledge. Your glory has brought me to my knees. I bow willingly to you because of your might. I bow willingly because I love you. Your liberty allows me to explore your infinite creation and your infinite self. The freedom you gave me is unparalleled to any nation's or any world's. Your love created me Your love protected me Your love restored me Your love heals me Your ...

    The human mind can be pretty deep. Unfathomably deep. Within yourself is an array and database of information that you have accrued in your lifetime and some that may be wired into your mind by nature. I have some weird beliefs, some divergent viewpoints that give me an alternate perspective on my reality and existence in general.    I know that my beliefs are not super typical, and not everyone shares them, but if my belief that every human mind is an isolated individualized sample of a broader infinite mind is true, than the possibilities, potential, and depth for human consciousness and human ideation is truly endless. Limitless.        All it takes is one idea from one human mind to revolutionize the world.  At the same time though, all it takes is one human constructing one ideology and you can have the potential for a war that can kill millions. Just look at Hitler as a textbook example of this. He wrote a book in prison whose ideas...