Angels and Faith

One of the ways I cope with life sometimes, when I feel like I have been treated unfairly, or feel as if the world has been quite vicious to me as well as people I know who have suffered immensely, is pray. What a shocker haha. But not just pray. I try to remember the few times I have felt the presence of something much more powerful than any human or force. 

Those few times, quite a few actually, where I felt like I was feeling the presence of the Divine, something that I feel like I could never explain to people or expect them to understand or even believe. I have had experiences where I could have sworn I have seen angels which were almost like faint apparitions coming from an opening in the space surrounding them. 

I saw only smiles and eyes, and the outlines of what looked like wings, transparent and so faint that if you werent looking at that precise spot you wouldnt see a thing. I have had dreams of temples, with columns like the parthenon. I have had sensations and thoughts that are unexplainable and the source of which is shrouded in ambiguity. 

Even in the depths of my most disturbed and chaotic insanity I remember most of the thoughts and concepts that occured to me. Even when my mind was broken, a part of me was still there, albeit very much in the back seat, with something darker and more troubled driving my mouth and my body. 

Its quite amazing that I recall so much and have such an insight and clarity now that I can retrospectively approach the chaos and confusion and now with a sound mind can reason and process the distorted and sometimes profound epiphanies and conceptions.

 Even so, what I remember most is the feeling and the sense of a presence not human, something etherial, something hardwired into the fabric of reality that was conscious, yet had no body. 

   It may seem to the layman observer as insanity, as disturbia or delusion, but within my cognition, and my perception, I guarantee if you could see some of this yourself you may have a different opinion. I know now, not even so much believe as much as know, that there is something akin to God in this existence.

       V  I would never claim to understand how He operates, but somehow, with all I have experienced, I now know of His presence. I also know, with all my soul and heart, that those that are lost are out there somewhere, waiting to be seen again. 

       Now, how I cope with a life I often wish I didn't have to live is to remember those feelings, those sightings and visions of angels, those visions and dreams of temples, those patterns of coincidences that are so obvious that they feel too coincidental to be coincidence and feel sent from something transcendental. These feelings, and happenings I cannot and will not forget. They give me hope of a more complex, more beautiful, and more glorious existence. 

     One day, I'll see these things with my own eyes, with new eyes even. One day, I will hug my old friends who have gone before me, who I am sure are sitting in the Glory of God, and experiencing His infinite love, His infinite grace and mercy, and can now explore and experience His infinite creation.