Waiting on the Lord

There is a phrase I have encountered in my studies of the Bible that I find very pertinent to my life. It is the phrase "wait on the Lord." It occurs in the Psalms on occasion and elsewhere in Scripture. 

I find this phrase to be one of the most important phrases in my relationship with God. It is a lesson of patience and hope. Waiting on God, waiting for Him to make His move and perform His purposes for my life and this world is extremely important in my journey here.

     It is a reminder of my place in this world. A reminder that I am not the one in charge. I am not in control.

      To me, this world is something akin to a purgatory. Not quite Hell. Not quite Heaven. Lot's of suffering and disappointment. Occasional Joys and victories here and there.

  There are a few pitfalls and traps that I have fallen into. Some quite restrictive and some were quite torturous, but it was still not quite Hell. Those Catch-22's, those situational traps that created that sense of purgatory are not eternal. Because every system is bound by entropy and breaks down, including those pitfalls and traps, you aren't bound by them forever.

    This world, though extremely disappointing at times, is not eternal in its torment and suffering. The fact that you die proves this. Death is the release, the liberation or the damnation that every Human being will eventually face.

    For a believer, I have heard the saying that this place is the closest place to Hell a faithful person will ever be, and for the unbeliever its the closest place to heaven they will ever be. Again, this kind of thinking only reinforces the sentiment that this world falls along the category of a purgatory. A middle realm that lies between glory and agony.

I have been waiting for something glorious to happen that never quite happens. I have had a taste of Heaven here and there...and a taste of Hell here and there, but no finality. I've felt protected at times, and abandoned at times, but I've never completely achieved that liberation from fear, sin, doubt, and death that plague this life and this world. I do, however, never lose hope and my faith never completely goes away. 

That longing for the finality of glory, that true, total liberation from this place and its wickedness and depravity is always in the back of my mind. The hope for a freedom that I have never had and the presence of God being complete and without reservation or doubt never leaves my mind as I live this life and fight its battles.

     That wait for something glorious feeds that purgatory sentiment, because I have been waiting for such a long time for it. It's a test of patience as well as a test of diligence, knowing full well that some glory you have to work for in life, and the glory of God is something you have to wait for in hope and trust. I do believe that glory and liberation will happen, whether in life or in death, it's just the longing and thirsting for it is always there. 

        I never completely reach the bottom of the pit in my pitfalls, failures, and the traps that I spring in my life. In the glory and freedom that I have achieved and do enjoy, I never reach the totality of the liberation of God and the glory of being an heir to His kingdom. 

 In the midst of my life, I also never completely overcome sin, bitterness, hate, and fear. I still do things, and say things, I don't want to and know I shouldn't because I know how damaging much of it is. This also reinforces the sense of purgatory because I am never completely free of sin and corruption. These still bind me, and ground me to a worldly state even in my longing for the liberty of the spirit and the liberation from hate and sickness and fear and the trappings of sin and depravity that I both fall into and put myself into.

As far as waiting on the Lord goes, I must admit this is a very challenging component of my faith. It's also a necessary one, and its one that I have no choice in doing, because I am not the one in control. I am not the one who calls the shots. Which means waiting is something of a responsibility as well as a test of loyalty and endurance.  I have to wait on God to finalize His glory through trials and victories, through glory and suffering, through hope and doubt, because I have no choice in the matter. 

 God calls the shots, not me, and since this is true, I have to keep my hopes high, be respectful, try to be humble, and most of all, be patient with my walk with God, knowing full well that total, absolute liberation and absolute, undying Glory is going to happen,  whether I have to wait 10 years, 40 years, until my death, or even 10,000 years in a purgatory after this life for God's glory, liberty, and victory to complete its finality and totality. 

Good morning.