I survived

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I've come a long way in the past 10 years. I've held down a job. I've made friends. I've found Jesus. My brain can puzzle over infinity all it wants. 


I like the term survivor.


It rolls off the tongue a lot better than "victim." 


Being a victim always has a powerlessness connotation to it, like your power and strength was taken from you.


Survivor has a connotation of power and strength to it. An overcoming and a winning.


I am a survivor of many things. It's just pure grace that I'm alive and my brain functions as well as it does. 


I've been on some medications for my brain my whole life. It started young.


Very young.


I consider myself a survivor of psychiatry.


Don't get me wrong, some people need help, but psychiatry has the highest potential for abuse of any medical field.


It often is abused. It has the potential to be used against political dissidents (its really hard to make political change or influence when you are drugged, institutionalized, or labeled as crazy.)


 It can be used to persecute religious beliefs and people of faith by labeling their beliefs as delusion and chemically and physically altering their brains.


It can be used to enforce rigid social conformity and control minds and behaviors of a population to a high degree.


It is often used to persecute and weed out differentness within society.


Some of the greatest atrocities the United States has ever committed has been done to those deemed as mentally ill. Lobotomies are one of the most egregious and atrocious medical procedures ever developed and implemented in human history. Electro Shock therapy isn't too far behind.


The overdrugging of children with brain drugs that started back in the 1980s and 90s borders on atrocity in many cases.


I've been struggling with this my whole life.


As I try to move forward, I feel its best to tell my story. Maybe it can make a difference in someone's life. 


At this point in my life I have to be on some sort of chemical. It's the only way I can function. I'm grateful for one thing out of my life and its situation the most for, and that is my relationship with Jesus Christ. 


Even in all the darkness, sin, and oppression I have found myself in, Jesus was there the whole time.


He gave me a big mind. He gave me my love of infinity, my love of eternity, my love of complexity, and my love of heaven and glory. Without Jesus, I'd be lost. I'd be nothing. I'd be in hell. 


Jesus saved my life. He made me a warrior, albeit a warrior without an army, and He fought for me and protected me from permanent harm. I can't thank Him enough. I will serve and love Him forever, just because of His grace.


As I continue to move forward, I am trying to figure out what my next steps in life will be. Where I'll go. What I'll do. No matter what happens, good or bad, the Creator of all things, that infinite God, will be walking with me and living in me whereever I go.

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