Overcoming Anger

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"Fear is a path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate...leads to suffering."

-Yoda


I've been a Star Wars fan all my life. I've seen all of them at some point, and some of them dozens of times. The quote I've mentioned above stuck out to me when I first heard it when I was little, but I didn't understand it until I lived it. In my adult life, I saw the unfolding of this in my own life firsthand


     It starts with fear.


But the anger and hate are the most poisonous of these emotions.


 I don't like how much anger I have. Sometimes there is a subtle, even passive-aggressive venom that spews out of my mouth or on paper that I'm not always proud of. I can't get away with exploding on people or showing heightened aggression, so my anger is a lot quieter.


It comes out in the language I use sometimes. 

The words I say. The bitter and spiteful rhetoric. It is something I am trying to work on, but the darkness in my mind isn't always under control.


It always starts with fear.


You can often witness in very short amount of time how that fear turns to anger within yourself. Then hate. And then suffering. These cycles can happen over the course of years, or even over the course of minutes or hours.


My greatest mental health struggles hasn't been with mania and depression nearly as much as it has been with fear and anger.


When I was little, watching that Star Wars movie. I always wanted to be the good guy. The hero. When I heard that quote, I never thought I would actually live it. 


I don't really consider myself to be on "the dark side of the force," but I saw for myself how fear can get you there. It is such a poison. Such a destructive thing.


And so is anger.


My anger isn't as bad as it used to be, but its still there. Sometimes the anger just turns into sadness. It can be an overwhelming blanket of grief that just hits you like a brick wall. 


It's better to have sorrow than anger. Sorrow's a lot less destructive. A lot less poisonous.


In a world like this, there's already too much anger and hate.


Too much suffering.

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