Freedom from Shame

One of the most difficult things about being human is shame and coming to terms with a world that you can't go through without making mistakes or suffering failure.

     Shame is a natural response to those mistakes and failures. Shame is a natural response to sin. Shame is natural, but it's quite unhealthy. It can cripple your ability to live a normal life. It can become a barrier to contentment and happiness and lead to a wide array of emotional problems.

     One of the big freedoms I long for the most is the freedom from shame. The freedom from feeling like there is something inherently wrong with me. Something irredeemable about my nature. A weakness and a failure that condemns me not so much in the eyes of others, but in my own eyes mostly.  I know I am not condemned in the sense of some sort of eternal damnation, but I condemn myself in my own eyes because of the standard I set for myself that I fail to live up to. 

     This standard is unrealistically high, so I end up setting myself up for shame.  One of the great weapons of the enemy is shame. Shame is different from guilt in that shame makes you feel like their is an inherent flaw in yourself, while guilt is the deserved response to the committing of a wrongdoing. Guilt can be useful in the achievement of repentance and remorse, but the shame of feeling that there is something inherently wrong with your very being is counterproductive at best and downright destructive at worst.

      It is a hindrance to your progress as a human being and as a follower of God. The saying "never be ashamed of who you are" should not be taken lightly. Being ashamed of who God designed you to be is like saying God didn't know what he was doing and doesn't value you as much as He actually does. It is a showing of great disrespect towards Him.

       Shame can be quite poisonous. It can turn into self hatred very quickly, which can lead to behaviors that damage your relationships and make you difficult to be around, which, tragically, leads to more shame. This is a cycle I find myself in quite often, and I have found myself in it for much of my life. 

 The shame, acting out because of shame that alienates friends and embarrasses myself, which leads to more shame. It's a difficult cycle, and one where even though I can often see it happen and unfold right in front of me, is often one that I can't completely reign in. It's like watching a snowball roll down a mountain. Once it starts, it's hard to stop.

       Shame has always been a struggle for me. I have had traits and sins and failures that have led me to feel a great deal of shame and have led me to ask the question "what's wrong with me?" or "why am I like this?" I know that some things are mistakes that I made that I was fully capable of avoiding and learning from, but the real shame comes from the parts of my nature and the parts of my being that I can't control that have caused me so many problems. The parts of me that the world condemns as evil or deviant, that even some Christians look at as condemnable.

 The sins that I can't eradicate from my system. The traits of my nature that are not condoned in some circles, even if they are out of my control. The differentness that I can't help that makes me distinguishable from the crowd.  This shame can be painful, and it is extremely counterproductive to my growth as a person.  Unfortunately it is an easy trap to fall into, especially when peers and society make you feel like you are not on par with how they think you should be. That you don't meet a standard that shouldn't be there to begin with. 

      This artificial inequality created by the social stigma of traits of your nature you can't control very well is an inherently unfair and unnecessary, and it always causes shame by making you feel like you are never good enough.  The thing different people who deviate from the social standard want the most is to just be accepted for who they are.

       They just want to be loved and valued. All of us want that. Unfortunately, being made to feel ashamed of your very being is a weapon used by the devil and used by predatory humans to wear you down, break your spirit, and break your will. Shame is a tool used to destroy your mind and get you to condemn yourself. It is a massively powerful tool of evil that can lead to your self-destruction.

    God does not want you to be ashamed, either of yourself for things you can't control, or of Him for trying to follow Him and be right by Him.  I still struggle with shame. It is a difficult thing to get over and move on from. It is induced by an unaccepting world and by an overly condemning and unforgiving species.  Shame is a lingering and pervasive biproduct of a fallen and sinful world.  It is a biproduct of the ties that bind of your own sin, one that every sinner and mistake-maker and every person who deviates from a standard against their own choice will struggle with on and off throughout their life.

          Of all the liberties I want in life, being free from shame is high on my priorities. Shame is something that Jesus died to rid us of. Being cleansed of sin is also a cleansing of shame if you think about it. Without sin, shame couldn't exist. Unfortunately human existence can never be completely free of sin, so a part of us will always have a level of shame that we allow ourselves to have.  However, we can have freedom from it if we choose to. 

      If you realize that being enveloped in the love of God eradicates sin in due time and into eternity and that shame dies with sin, you can find a peace and contentment in that realization. You can taste a true freedom from shame and self-hatred. You'll never have to feel it again. That liberty only comes from complete surrender to God, something we all struggle to do to the necessary completion.