The Creator's Vengeance

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     For years, I was preoccupied with revenge. I felt I was treated extremely unfairly at various stages of my life. I was angry, and had no one and nothing to aim at in my anger. 

     I wanted to hit back at an enemy I couldn't see, had no idea who or where it was, nor did I even know with certainty whether or not it exists anyways. I felt reduced. I felt degraded. I felt funneled into poverty and government dependence. I even felt oppressed. 

    Throughout my situation, I faced many problems and obstacles in my attempts to make sense of and come to terms with what has happened to me over my life and in recent years.

        One of those problems in this attempt to understand my circumstances is the great limitations of my vantage point on my own life, as well as my access to the information regarding my situation being quite limited and somewhat obscure. 

       I have no idea what happened to me or how deep the rabbit hole of my life goes. I have no ability to know a significant portion of my own history from the vantage point of other people in my life or the vantage points of those who have had power over me in various forms, whether it be my parents or doctors or others. 

Even so, I rest assured in the omnipresence of God. Even though my vantage point is limited, and the vantage point of the rest of the people in my life is also limited, I know God's vantage point is limitless. Being an entity whose very consciousness is present at every point in space and time, almost wired into this fabric, he has seen everything that has happened to me and the many others like me.

     I, for the sake of my own sanity and in the interests of preserving my freedom from prisons or institutions, must forgo the seeking out of revenge. I must learn to accept the circumstances I am in for what they are so I can continue healing from the immense damage that has been done to me and my future.

      Vengeance is in the Creator's hands, and that is where I will leave my desire for revenge. Since the Creator has the perfect vantage point, and sees all things, his vengeance would be far more effective, far more fitting, and far more fair, than if I acted on my own merit. No matter what has happened to me, no matter the feelings of being subjugated and diminished in my worth, and no matter who harmed me and who violated me and stole my dreams and opportunities, I will in the end get my revenge. It just won't be by my own hand. Vengeance is in the Creator's hands.

Good night friends!

God bless

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