The Power of Relationships and Mental Wellness

I am grateful that God has provided me with a lot of friends and family who care. There is nothing more therapeutic, beneficial, and stabilizing than having strong relationships that build a solid support system in your drive to recover from trauma and mental health difficulties. I have a beautiful church that I am a part of. My relationship with my mom has improved dramatically. I seemed to have amassed a collection of people that would help me in a minutes notice if they could, and I would do the same for them. I never wanted the hand I was dealt with mental health. I resisted it and fought the situation for years. It took me four hospitalizations and too many missteps and strained relationships to realize that my mental health was a problem that I cannot wish away and cannot deny that there is a problem. The memories of the trauma that happened in my life will always be in my mind, whether in the back of it or on my immediate attention, but my difficulties in dealing with them are exacerbated by isolation. I decompensate rapidly if my relationships with my friends and family are strained. I get paranoid and think that they hate me or are plotting to harm me in some way. Seriously, this has happened multiple times. If I am in a position where I can't talk to someone on a regular basis it literally drives me crazy. I am a social animal. I need to communicate with someone or something. When I am by myself, I talk to God a lot. I even talk to and lecture myself as well. I always want to know that I am loved. I feel that if I am going to thrive in this world, I can't burn bridges and alienate my friends and family. I have done this before. I have lost friends because of my choices. In Missoula when I was attending classes at the University of Montana, a couple of my friends from my hometown were pretty present in my life. They were good friends. They supported me, hung out with me, and talked to me regularly, but as I started to reject there advice and their concerns because of my selfish and misguided desire to go off of my medications that was fueled by an erroneous thinking pattern that led me to believe if I went off of my medications and showed that I didn't have a mental illness, I would be able to pursue a career in the armed forces of some sort. One of these friends was a service member and veteran, and I wasn't explicit about my intentions to pursue this path, but he probably could deduct that I was interested in this from things that I have said in the past that suggested my interest in that lifestyle. Of course, when I told my friends that I was going off of my medications we had a little bit of a blow up between the four of us, and I said somethings I regret to this day. Less than three months later I was in the state hospital. My selfishness and my stupidity made prospects for my future in the career I wanted even dimmer than it was before, and two of those three friends that sat at the table in the restaurant in Missoula don't talk to me anymore. They are married now, and I feel beyond disappointed and ashamed of myself for antagonizing them the way I did because of my selfishness. I have hurt some of the most wonderful people who have ever been in my life because of my distorted view of reality and my misguided desires. I feel so stupid! Had I just listened to my friends and doctors, I could have spared myself a lot of heartache and difficulty. I swore to myself I would not make the same mistake again. The lesson I learned from my experience in Missoula was that if someone shows genuine concern for your well-being, don't be an idiot and reject their well-intended advice when they are just looking out for your well being. This is why you cherish your friends and don't burn bridges that you don't need to burn. You never know when you may need to utilize those bridges. Now in the present time I am doing far better. Yes, I have had episodes, but they are more easily managed because of the support systems I have in place. I haven't had to be readmitted to the state hospital, and I have been far more cautious about my choices regarding mental health than I have been at previous points in my life. I always try to keep doors open in my life so that I can have as many people to fall back on as possible if I am in a bad situation, even if it is only for a conversation. I have many friends today that I have had for years that talk to me frequently, and they provide me the insight, the guidance, the advice, and the counseling that I need to stay mentally healthy. Of course, I take my medications every day as prescribed, but what really strengthens me and lifts my spirit is the conversations I have with my friends and loved ones. I am amazed at the power of words. When you encourage someone and compliment them for their qualities, successes, and positive actions, their brains literally have a chemical response to your words if you are genuine. Neurotransmitters are powerful things, and when you see someone's mood and spirit lifted up by what you say to them, it is clear evidence that verbal communication has a substantial impact on mood and mental wellness. This is why having such a strong support system is essential for mental wellness, as your relationships give you the positive encouragement needed to get you to the next moment and build up confidence in yourself that you can achieve anything you set your mind to.